Archive for May, 2012

My, haven’t we been slack…

So it’s been awhile. I’m back working with refugees. Lots of changes in my life, and part of my aim to return to writing is taking baby steps with my journal. Man, I missed the crap I could write when I knew no one was reading. Absolutely insane (and at times inane) bullshit. Ah, it feels like home. Hence, writing on my blog has been sidelined…

Don’t worry, you didn’t miss much.

I changed jobs, as mentioned above. I think after 18 months in mental health and homelessness, I was starting to go a bit mental myself. Starting, ha! Who am I kidding. But something amazing has been happening. The further I’ve distanced myself from it, the more acutely aware I am of my own anxiety, and the triggers and solutions my brain and my body come up with to combat it. Perhaps it was bound to happen, this insight, eventually, but maybe amongst the noise of my former clients’ problems, issues, breakdowns, crises and dramas, I just couldn’t hear myself.

I was thinking to myself one day how much the job was starting to get to me. I was also quite wary of how much interoffice politics was starting to take over the focus of work. I could no longer keep my head down to the bullshit, because it started to affect me. And things started to grate. On a whim, I had a look online for jobs. Not really sure what I was looking for, anything really. Then, like a ray of light (alright, maybe it wasn’t as biblical as that!), I realised where I needed to go back. Working with migrants.

That was at the end of February. I started in March and I’ve since not looked back.

I kind of started to think long-term – policy, government, international advocacy – the bigger picture. I love casework; it gives me such satisfaction to help clients out with things, to help them to achieve their goals. But there’s so much more I could do with my knowledge. I want to start going further, influencing decisions, putting a real face to the work we do higher up in the chain of command.

Perhaps as I’m reaching that pivotal third decade of existence, I’m (finally) starting to get a bit serious about life. In a ways, I still feel as though I’m not in a “real” job, but that’s mainly due to my parent’s definition of “real” involving anything white collar. In reality, I am actually doing alright, and this job can open some serious doors if I want it to.

Add to that, the fact that a large portion of my female friends are very recently embarking on life-changing (and adult) journeys – marriage, home ownership, baby-making – and I realised, shit, I think I want those things too. Not in a massive hurry, but they’d be good to aim for…

Anyway… I suppose I’ll still be sporadic in entries – let’s face it, I’m bloody lazy – but hopefully some of the content will be at the very least interesting to you dear reader.